Dear Broken Me,
There are many things that I thank you for helping to realize. For although I didn’t recognize the impact you were molding me into the women I am now and the potential that has yet to be manifested.
If you would have told me that not having a mother to grow with me would have made me the mother I am today I wouldn’t have believed you. You see broken me, that character that is usually created and molding by a mother, was given to me by an all-knowing creator that placed in me all that I would need. He used every failure and inadequacy to shape my heart for compassion for my children.
The broken girl that used the patterns set by not having a mother but pouring her all into a guy. You see that helped too. Although, you didn’t know then you taught me that my love wasn’t bad but that I was worth more than settling for a guy who wouldn’t love & respect me as the young lady God created me to me. You see those #BrokenMe lessons taught me to love without giving pieces of myself reserved for my husband.
Broken me you have helped me on every part of this journey. Through the abuse emotionally and by family who made you feel like you were wrong for waiting the life God ordained for you. You took those lessons and you are who you are today by the Grace and Mercy of a all-knowing and loving Father.
So moving forward to being ALL that you’ve been called to be…A wife, mother, sister, aunt, friend, leader; use those lessons and move forward. Don’t allow what has been to stifle what is to BE and what you’re to DO! Love like you’ve never loved, lead and grow. The piece that were broken are being mended and it’s all going up be for your GOoD! So live, that’s what you’ve been called to do on the way to the WHOLE you. And I’ll be right here, rooting you on and picking up the pieces you need to move on and throwing down the pieces that need to stay behind.
We all struggle with something about your past. I have struggled with life circumstances that I’ve been forced to deal with. You know, there are things we bring on ourselves, but then there are also things that get brought on us without our asking for them. I’ve had those types of issues to wade through: the unwanted and unasked for ones.
Through all of it, I haven’t ever doubted God. I’ve never given up on what I know He can do. I have had plenty of questions for Him and many times that I have not understood the path I was walking down, but I have not doubted Him.
Scars sometimes weigh us down and we sometimes never take the time to reflect on their beauty. I have used that word “scars” specifically to describe the wounds that we have. Emotional scars, not physical ones. Scars that seem like they will never heal. Before I used the word scars, I used to say that I was broken; that I had been damaged and was just broken inside. Lately, I’ve discovered, there is a difference between brokenness and scars.
Brokenness happens at single points in time. During single events of your life pieces of your heart and emotions get broken. The moment when you find out your husband is filing for divorce, a piece of you breaks. That time in the doctor’s office when you hear the devastating news of a disease, bad report, etc. that will do everything it can to take you out if you don’t do everything you can to take it out, a piece of you breaks. The moment you realize that your life is forever changed because someone you love has left this earth, a piece of you breaks. The moment you discover that your best friend has betrayed you and those closest to you aren’t around anymore to make everything better, a piece (or two) of you breaks.
Brokenness is what happens when you realize the mess that you are in. It is the kick in the gut at the most inopportune times that makes you question everything you have ever known to be true.
Scars are very different than brokenness. Although they are there for the same reason that brokenness is, they are not a reflection of the pain. Scars don’t tell us that someone is hurt; they tell us that someone has healed. They don’t show us the injury, they show us the recovery.
We have wounds, we have brokenness, and even if at this very moment in time, we don’t feel as though we have been healed of those, we do, or will have scars. Our scars are not ugly and they are not a reminder of the pain. Our scars, our redeemed, glorified scars, are a beautiful picture of the power of God to heal us from the most horrible moments in our lives. They are a reflection of His goodness and His love.
Satan will do everything he can to convince you to look at your scars as ugly, rotten, no good, painful wounds. He will try and tell you that you are useless and no good to God because of your scars. He will try to keep you in bondage to your wounds by trying to convince you that you have not been healed and never will be. He couldn’t be more wrong.
If Jesus can bear scars as a way to share the power of God and His love for others, then we can too. Stop trying to hide your scars. They don’t need to be covered up and you don’t need to be ashamed of them. Someone else needs to see them so that they can finally understand that God loves them and that He can change their life.
I wasn’t the one God chose to die on the cross for all mankind (thank goodness) but I am the one that He chose (and so are you) to go into all the world and preach the gospel. Scars are such an effective way to do that.
If you are struggling with an addiction, you don’t want to hear anything about how you will get through it from a person who has no clue what it is like to struggle with addiction. But if you run into a recovering alcoholic who tells you how much God loves you and he proves it to you by showing you his scars, you will listen much harder to what he has to say. You will listen because you understand that he has been there and that his life is better now than it was before.
I still have brokenness and I still have wounds. Everything in my life has not been completely healed yet. But I do have some scars and I have many more that are in the process of healing. I’m trusting God to finish that process.
Through it all—through my brokenness and through my scars my creed is, “Lord, If you will help me, I will help others”.
All of Me