The guidance [husbands]… are given about how to love their wives doesn’t come from romantic movie heroes, it doesn’t come from being compared to the husband of their wife’s best friend, or from books on how to improve their marriage that their wife gives them for father’s day … They’re to be guided by the love of Christ for the church, who expressed His headship in loving the church, and in giving Himself up for her to death. … He’s to help her prepare for the future marriage of Christ and the church. … The blueprint for marriage, the reason God fashioned earthly marriage as He did, was to provide a beautiful, earthly reflection of the eschatological love and the union of His son with those He came to save.
What God is looking for is an attitude of trust, respect and honor for our husbands, building up and support of their leadership, deference to their care, letting them look after us, an attitude of service and helping instead of doing our own thing, and tearing down what they’re trying to do. The more you know your husband, the more conscious you will be that submission is an act of grace. It’s a moment by moment choice. … It’s conscious, active, willful.
We are to submit willingly and to happily recognize our husband’s authority in everything. As wives we are to willingly recognize our husband’s headship every day and in everything. I’m not making it up. The wife is to respect, or reverence her husband. Submission requires an attitude of trust, respect and honor, that graciously recognizes our husband’s authority, and willingly accepts his leadership and his responsibility.
None of what I’ve had to say is easy. The submission called for here is at odds with our culture, but more importantly it’s at odds with our sinful nature. Ever since the fall in Genesis 3 a woman’s desire has been to control her husband, and we all have our own particular ways of doing that. Perhaps we nag. Perhaps we manipulate. Perhaps we put him down in front of our friends. Or perhaps we never say a word, and we keep a long catalog of all his sins that we carry around and feel quietly angry and self-righteous about. Submission is hard, it’s counter-cultural, and it’s impossible to do without the Spirit of God, but with the Spirit, we can do it.
Now what submission will look like in each of our marriages will be different, but it will be evident. At its heart, submission is an attitude, but it’s an attitude that has to be expressed. It’s expressed in respect, in service, in trust, in humility. It means we’ll build him up rather than tear him down. It means we’ll calm the seas of home life rather than stir them up. It means we’ll support his authority with the kids, and we won’t whine about him behind his back, to our mothers, to our friends, to the kids, and we’ll accept his leadership and care gladly. We’ll rejoice in it when he gets it right, and when he fails, we’ll forgive him whether it be in spiritual matters, in the day to day, or right down to the domestication that we should embrace as Proverbs 31 women.
I pray that this series has better helped you to identify with what submission is and how it looks and why we should do it. It is a BLESSING with EXTREME benefits and my observation has been that it tremendously builds the home morale. So now that we know these things, let’s strive (or prepare) to submit to God as our Savior and our husbands as our earthly King. There is nothing to it but to do it. Be encouraged, it’s what we’ve been called to DO!!!
© 2011 The GOoD Life. Courtesy of Right The Vision. All Rights Reserved.