Submission: We’ve GOT to live it!!!


Submission is beautiful. Submission is strong. Submission is not a dirty word.

Not to long ago I was talking with my big sister about the subject and this is how she described it:

“I may be different but to me a woman’s job to submit does not suggest that she is oppressed in speaking her mind and offering suggestions during family decisions, etc….Submission literally means “to get up under,” “buttress,” “support”. Since we were pulled out of the man and God clearly deemed him and EQUIPPED him to lead, cover and be the head-WE as his help “meet” are to get “up under” whatever vision/mission that man has. When we disagree, we are still to support and respect and if he makes the wrong choice on how to lead us-he has to answer to his Head who is God.”
Submission is beautiful. It makes us like Jesus, who gladly submits to the will of His Father (Jn 8:29). It makes us like Christ’s glorious bride, the Church, who joyfully submits herself to the Husband who laid down his life to win her (Eph 5:22-33). Its beauty is seen in every Christian who obeys God willingly, in every child who honors their parents, in every safe and ordered society. It springs from the unchanging, inner beauty of a “gentle and quiet spirit”, one of God’s most precious treasures (1 Pet 3:4).

Submission is strong. Only those who are confident in themselves, or (better) in God, don’t need to throw their weight around. Sarah left her home and followed her husband Abraham on the journey of faith to an unknown country, because she trusted in God and didn’t give way to fear (1 Pet 3:5-6). Only women with a big picture of God – a God whose eternal purpose in making men and women was to display the love between Christ and the Church, and who works every circumstance for our good and His glory (Rom 8:28-29) – are able to submit with trust and joy.

Submission is not a dirty word. We honor submission in Jesus, in Christians, in children. But when it comes to marriage, we have a mental block. When the “s” word comes up in a talk or a Bible reading, it makes some squirm with embarrassment.

The word “submission” may bring to mind mental pictures of a (perfectly dressed) housewife taking (perfectly baked) biscuits out of her (perfectly polished) stove, or the “little wife” who brings a “masterly man” his slippers and pipe, or the human doormat who has denied her own intelligence and person-hood to say “yes” to everything her husband asks, however demeaning or stupid.

My own journey to seeing the beauty of submission wasn’t a very long one, when it was seen that God ordained the courtship and then the marriage of my husband and I; I felt at ease  simply taking God at His word. I don’t remember thinking much about submission in marriage as a child probably the affect of being the oldest of two girls in a single-parent home, where my father WAS there. Yeah, that’s different in and of itself. As a teenager, the idea of having a husband of which I could care for and submit to was at the forefront of my mind as I embraced the idea of marrying the guy I spent all my high school years with despite his fleshly and worldly behavior. So as a teen and also young adult, I embraced the role that I knew I had been created for; sometimes maybe too much. I was prepared to be a wife, fresh out of high school as I fed into the lies of a wedding after graduation and not having a mother figure in the home—I actively watched my elders in an preparatory manner to see what all I was going to be faced with as a “for worse” partner.

I only accepted submission as God’s will for marriage after much study, conversation and heart-searching and spent many hours studying the Bible passages on men and women (Gen 1-3, 1 Cor 11:2-16, 14:26-40, Gal 3:28, Eph 5:22-33, Col 3:18-19, Tit 2:3-5, 1 Tim 5:14, 2 Tim 1:5, 3:14-15, 1 Pet 3:1-7).

After my own study, I concluded that the Bible is actually very clear: “Now as the Church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything” (Eph 5:24). You have to jump backwards through many exegetical hoops to get it to say anything else. So as I was pursued and prepared for marriage the correct way, based on that scripture alone I knew the “s” word was something within myself I wanted to walk out daily. So at my wedding, I made the good old promises of love and submission.

With few models of submission in marriage to imitate, especially in my own home and few older, Godly women who practice submission to teach me the practicalities, I took God at HIS word on what headship and submission look like in a healthy marriage.

Sadly, these days, I find young Christian women and even some older, not very willing to accept the idea of submission. But they are clearly confused about the practice. One of the questions I’m asked most often by other young women is “What exactly does submission in marriage look like?” This is just the preface and over the span of the next couple entries I’d like to demonstrate with biblical truth what that looks like. Are you ready?


© 2011 The GOoD Life. Courtesy of Right The Vision. All Rights Reserved.


19 thoughts on “Submission: We’ve GOT to live it!!!

  1. Great post! A lot of people, especially women seem to hate the idea of submission. I find that being able to submit to God first prepares women for submission in marriage. I can honestly say sometimes I have not understood what God says I should do but after doing it and seeing the fruits of that obedience, Im like “Whoa, submitting to God’s will is great!”
    So submitting to my future husband won’t be so foreign for me & I’m blessed to have women in my church who lead by example, single & married.

  2. I am praising God that someone intelligent finally spoke on this topic. Someone who not only studies the Word-but walks it out! You’re qualified to speak on it with such passion because you LIVE it. Oh that more ladies would truly understand submission, Order would begin to return to not only the homes, but to the Body of Christ and society at large. This concept is not a concept-it’s a command from God. Praying that we all learn the significance of OBEDIENCE to God-if we do that-Submission is Seamless! God Bless You! Keep teaching….generations to come will need this as a guide. Bless you!

  3. I am soo ready to hear more! This is really helping me right now! Everything that is said is soooooo on point! I truly do thank God for your ministry please keep on going!

  4. It’s about time this topic got addressed from a Godly perspective. This is one topic every female must gain a proper understanding of before marriage. The feminist movement is slowly dividing the homes of the people of God because somewhere, somehow females began to entertain the idea of being equal to a man… May God bless you for speaking so openly about a subject most women run away from!

  5. This is beautiful! What women don’t realize is that our protection is IN the submission!!! I LOVE IT! Keep allowing God to use you!

  6. For me this topic is right on time. I’m a soon to be married woman and submission is one of the main & key ingredients for a happy marriage. I’ve humbled my spirit and I’m blessed with the desire to lovingly submit to my husband. A lot of women will submit but only as a duty. I will submit with Love. I want our marriage to be pleasing in the eyes of the Christ. Thank You for sharing this… Very Great Read, and last if anyone is struggling with this, prayer is the answer…

  7. This is truly a necessary topic. I am thankful to your obedience to study and shareon this topic of submission. You have shed truth on what submission is. I do believe that there would be more unity, success, & blessing if we would submit God’s way. However, they confusion surround submission has robbed many out of so much, which is the enemy’s plan- to impart confusion & getting us not to submit. Sister, your blog is God inspired. But this will become much more than a blog for you to share with others. I heard ppl crying out for this msg that God gave to you.

  8. I’m glad you laid out such a wonderful description of submission! A lot of Christian women seem to have a problem with submission, but the biggest thing is if you trust God and realize that your husband has your best interest at heart, then submission is not a problem…most of the time. There are times when I feel strongly about something and there can be a tug-of-war, but for the most part, submission is not a problem. Also, if we submit to our husbands we can learn how heroic they really are. I say, Give submission a chance and let God do the rest!

  9. Amen!!!!!! You are teaching me so much about being a wife I will be so well equipped when the time comes! I store these blogs of yours up in my heart. I’m going to have one happy husband one day, in Jesus’ name!

    Submission is biblical and beautiful! Glory to God!

  10. ThankU Jesus, like the othr comments I thought I was alone on this subject. It’s so encouraging & refreshing 2 receive such truth. God’s word over man is so powerful, especially when applying it 2 our daily lives, it is just as humbling. I’m grateful, thanku.

  11. I think you said it best when you said “submission means to under gird”. A lot of people forget that. When I myself did my own research on the topic, I openly accepted it. God has created me to be a leader. I see it in the shining of my gifts and talents, in ministry and in the secular but when it comes time for that man in my life to walk in, I’m all for him leading. I’m yearning to be lead and look forward to it.

  12. Great blog, you were right on point, marriage is definitely suppose to be the vision of Christ and the church. I will save this blog for when I get married.

  13. Awesome! Ready for more biblical truth on the subject along with the reality from someone whom I can relate! I am truly being blessed by this blog! Continue to allow God to use you as His vessel to teach those in marriages and those in preparation!


  14. This was a great blog, and though I am NOT married; i enjoyed reading your words. You have a gift and i cant wait to read more!

  15. Your blog on “Submission” blessed me!I look at submission as a love word. Submit: sub- meaning under and mit – hand, thus, to submit means to be under the hand of another. How great is that! To be under the hand of God and/or your husband(your house-band) means you are under the hand that will protect you, provide for you, stroke you with a touch of love, the hand that will heal you, hold you, the hand that will lead you and guide you! I get excited thinking of submission. Under the hand of God and/or a husband who has a mission! Make you want to say “I DO” doesn’t it! I thought so! Be encouraged, keep it going!

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