Lofty Ideals, Not Nagging, Produce Lasting Change

Men: In this article I’m going to encourage you to be better; but not how you think I will. You see, the great majority of articles written for men bemoan their irresponsibility, criticize their passivity in the home, lament their spiritual apathy, and fault the misuse of their God-given sex drive. While some of these characteristics may fit some men, writing about them incessantly does not encourage men to change. In fact, bringing them up repeatedly makes men callous towards changing. In short, it’s nagging, and nagging has never consistently been the genesis of change. So instead of taking that failed route to produce change, I want to encourage you to be the man you can be.

Picture these qualities in your mind:

  • You are making goals and steadily accomplishing them
  • You are respected by your girlfriend / spouse
  • You are spiritually in tune with Christ and growing daily
  • You are making wise decisions and reaping the good results
  • If you have children, you are a good dad who is fun to be with
  • You are working wisely, taking advantage of opportunities, and doing great work
  • You are bold enough to hold yourself accountable to other men
  • You are making contributions in the community
  • You have a good reputation at work and are making a positive difference
  • If married, you are loving your wife sacrificially like Christ loved the church
  • You are making it through difficulties that come without making short-sighted compromises
  • You are living a life of moral, sexual, and relationally purity

Now … don’t these qualities pull you forward instead [of damning you for being where you are]? I encourage you to embrace these qualities, then partner with God to live up to them. Make it your aim to live a life of continuous improvement towards lofty ideals. Only then will you start to see lasting change.

Copyright © 2011 Kevin B. Bullard. All Rights Reserved. Permission granted to use and reproduce with proper source citation.

Kevin Bullard, the husband half of Marriage Works!  is passionately taking a stand for healthy and functional marriages. He and his wife, Cetelia, have been married for over a decade, and live in North Carolina with their three young children. Kevin is a marriage coach, blogger, speaker, and Pastor. He is currently completing a doctoral degree in organizational leadership.



© 2011 The GOoD Life. Courtesy of Right The Vision. All Rights Reserved.


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