He’s Just Not ‘That’ Into You: The Battle of Being Patient While You Wait

“But let patience have its perfect work, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking nothing,” James 1:4 (NKJV)

Patience: an eight letter word that irritates most people, because it suggests that one should wait, even when they don’t feel like waiting. Interesting enough, it is the number 8 that is viewed as an eternal number because in a perfect figuration eight no one can tell where it ends or begins. That’s just like patience. Often times, when being patient, there is no end in sight.

For millions of women “in waiting,” Lord, when will he come, is the most prevalent. Disgusted with waiting, some of us make the mistake of taking the waiting process out of God’s hands, and putting it in our own. The problem with taking anything out of God’s hands by not yielding to His way and timing, but forcing our own, is that if patience is a tool of God, you can be sure, impatience is a tool of the enemy.

God specializes in setting you up for greatness, while the enemy specializes in causing you to settle for something that’s not even good, because it is not yet complete. No one is perfect, but we can all be complete, if we allow patience to have her perfect work.  What is the main reason why women get so impatient? We think we’re already complete, and that Adam should “hurry up.”

“So God created man in His own image; in the image of God He created him; male and female He created them,” Genesis 1:27

Though Eve was created alongside Adam in Genesis 1, Eve does not live with Adam until Genesis 2. Why? Because though Eve may have been complete, there were some things in Adam that still needed to be complete. Adam had work to do! In Genesis 2:15 God commanded Adam to “tend and keep the garden,” including naming the animals. While we do not have the privilege like Eve did of being non-existent while Adam is being completed, waiting time is not wasted time, but work time for us too. Paul says it best “The unmarried woman cares about the things of the Lord, that she may be holy both in body and in spirit. But she who is married cares about the things of the world—how she may please her husband,” 1 Corinthians 7:34.

If you are still single, there is still work in God that needs to be done, that will probably never get done if God gave you a husband right now. Allow me to use myself as an example:

As a single woman I average 3-4 television, radio, magazine interviews a week, teach a weekly mentoring class, preach 2-3 conferences on the road a month, and more. I could not do these things as frequently as a married woman. It would take away from the bonding time any wife should have with her husband. So it is with you. You’re not single because no one wants you, but because God wants you to Himself. Remember, God says, I am a jealous God!

Stop taking it so personal that “he’s just not that into you.” It could be that he’s into the garden that God has given him to tend: his walk with God, his career, his immediate family, etc. You will be less frustrated when you take your eyes off what Adam is not doing (paying attention to you), and put your eyes on what you’re supposed to be doing; concerning yourself with the things of the Lord for your life. You have a purpose and a destiny. You won’t fulfill it if you’re still thinking you’re half-full because you’re waiting on a man to fulfill. Still Single? Get Busy! “The harvest is plentiful, but the laborers are few,” Matthew 9:37. He’s just not into you, because God is not through with you. When God is done with you, the man who is for you will do for you what Adam did for Eve; be right there standing waiting on you.

Prophetess Tera Carissa Hodges has birthed a ministry where the concept, like all things in her life, was placed in her heart by God. The Founder of Life Now Ministries based in Atlanta, GA, Prophetess Tera Carissa, as she is affectionately called, hosts conferences throughout Atlanta, and travels domestically and abroad to preach God’s Word. Her International invites include: Australia, Bahamas, Kenya, Nigeria, Togo, Trinidad and Tobago. Prophetess Tera Carissa has also appeared on numerous television programs, radio shows, and magazines.

A graduate of Florida A&M University armed with a Bachelor’s degree in Broadcast Journalism, Prophetess Tera Carissa believes in using her ministerial call and academic milestones to work with the people to empower the people.

When asked what prepared her for the challenge of conceiving and running Life Now, she contends, “Life experience and God. All of the different people who the Lord has linked me with in the last three years have prepared me for this journey of Life Now Ministries, even the people who meant me evil.”


via Twitter: http://twitter.com/teracarissa
via website: http://www.teracarissa.com


© 2011 The GOoD Life. Courtesy of Right The Vision. All Rights Reserved.


13 thoughts on “He’s Just Not ‘That’ Into You: The Battle of Being Patient While You Wait

  1. This is exactly what I needed to hear. I believe my life is taking a new direction and walking away from people and things that are not contributing to my walk with God.
    It is hard to say no but I rather say no to the ungodly things and say YES to my God who has a plan greater than I can ever imagine!!

  2. This Is Harder For Me than Most Because not dealing with ungodly people leaves zero people in my life because everyone that I can think of leads that kind of life. Or there only half way serving God.. Not seriously serving God. I am looking for my soul purpose in LIfe. Im tryng to figure out what I truly enjoy doing? What I Love Doing? Where My Strengths are? How I can use them to help others? All those questions run thru my mind. Some people make things look rather easy and Im Praying for it to be revealed to me.

    • Tabitha, I truly understand. When you make the decision to follow God do not worry because that is when God is going to replace those people with the people you need in your life. Pray specifically of what you want God to show you. Study and read your bible that’s where you find comfort in God. I’ve been in church all my life-I haven’t always made the right choices but one thing I can say that I always go to God and I made the decision to serve Him. I walked away from a bad (emotionally/verbal) relationship of 11 years and it hurts but God told me you need to get rid of him so you can get closer to me. Also if you have a church home, ask God to show you who can be your spiritual mentor. My spiritual mentor I heard her one time and I reached out to her.

  3. A friend sent me the link to this blog knowing this was exactly what I needed to hear! Like Tabitha,I’m currently waiting on God to reveal that purpose for which I have been put on this earth. I know He’s been waiting for me to draw close to him, so He can draw close to me. God bless you.

  4. Dear Tabitha-
    I hear you and have been in your shoes (in my head) many times. With regards to the people you are around who don’t know, don’t care about and who half-heartedly serve the Lord-while you are trying to do the very best you can to find your purpose in all of this-stop and look at this picture. You love God….He loves you. Why in the world would “HE” place you amongst these people? Why are these people drawn to YOU? It’s because what’s inside of you is Christ-He will reach those people through you. Not for you to go banging people on the head with the Bible-I tried that with my ex and let’s just say-he is an EX! 🙂 No one can see Christ the way you do because they don’t have your eyes….No one can hear Him the way you do because they don’t have your ears….The only way some of those people will probably ever encounter Jesus is through your actions. The way you treat them and love them and lead them with truth and compassion-just as Jesus did. Perhaps you are there on one of your “Purposes!”  One thing I know for sure that Ms. Hodges brings home in her post is seeing to it that you seek God for yourself….not just to be able to explain Him to others, but to have that one on one time with HIM-sister, by the time God has worked on you-you will run around the house hands in the air-saying “Hallelujah, I’ve got it-“My Purpose is HIS PURPOSE!” Whatever you have for me Lord, your purpose for me first and foremost is spelled out between Genesis and Revelations and it all hinges on LOVE. You will be so caught up in the pursuit of Christ-knowing Him intimately, for YOU….that those people you are around will catch it and don’t even know they’ve been infected!! The Glory of the Lord is contagious…..:) People will want to know what makes Tabitha shine like that! It comes from being in His Presence for the sole purpose of knowing Him for YOU FIRST-deeper than you know HIM now-so that all men/women/children will be drawn unto Him.

    You very well may be sitting in the middle of one of God’s purposes for you, just as Jesus sat amongst the ones that the “leaders and scribes” said He shouldn’t hang out with! Imagine that! Praying that God draws you closer with His eye. Read Psalms 32:8 God Bless

  5. I couldn’t have said it better myself. In a recent experience with a young man that was trying to pursue me, he was constantly expressing how he feels even as far as to say that God told Him I was the one for him. Now, I have not been on a date for six years and rarely interest has been expressed to me, my best friends are married and starting families and I am being pressured by loved ones to go ahead and get married already, so everything around me is telling me that it is MY SEASON. Well when the gentleman expressed his interest my flesh immediately became excited for the attention, but Greater is He that is IN me that he than is in the world, so immediately by Spirit rose up and began to speak and remind me that it is God who I should seek concerning these things and NOT how I feel. I was obedient and immediately I began to pray and seek God about what all of this means and the answers I received, had I been impatient or desperate, would have caused contempt to rise between me and God. He clearly told me that THIS was not my season to even entertain a dating relationship and That the young man was not His choice for me! WHOA!! So, in spite of how good the attention “felt” I had to let him know what Thus says the Lord, stick to my guns and trust in what God said to me. Well, about 8 months after he initially expressed his “feelings” he came back again trying to confess all these feelings for me and I stuck to my guns and let him know, sir you are not who God has for me keep it moving, well it came to my attention that the same time he was trying to “woo” me he was doing the same to a friend of mine, sending flowers and taking her out on dates and everything. So he was giving me ALL this lip service but his heart was far from me. Had I ventured out into a relationship with this man I would have been devastated, angry, hurt, over him being a cheater and a liar but God is a rewarder of those that diligently seek Him and because I sought Him and waited to hear from Him He rewarded me by protecting from the likes of this man. Even further I have seen the character of this man, he is a complaining and whining man, carnal in his thoughts and actions and through my obedience I was able to see and hear that HE IS NOT GOD’S BEST FOR ME!!!

  6. A blog entry I’ll be fwding to some of my more single friends. His Way is always easier to follow when you understand more of what He has in mind. Great enlightenment for many. Thx for posting:) R+M

    • Hallelujah!! I was just feeling depressed about not being in a relationship with a man, being divorced twice , being addicted to weed( everytime i have an opportunity, even if it has been six months and somebody offers it to me…. I jump on it)……and so on. I needed this word, and i love our God , so i know the road may not be easy but i know what i must do. Follow Him and everything will fall into place.

  7. This was a good read. Though it was directed toward women, I think Men can take this and apply it according to the gender. It is definitely hard to wait sometimes on both ends of the spectrum. But, the wise walk in patience and understand that at the end of a certain season of patience, there is something beautiful to be experienced.

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