Study thine Husband…

I think that after we have done something for so long and gotten a few accolades (from others) we seem to think that we’ve mastered it and will never have to revisit it again. It’s like studying for, taking a test, ace-ing it and then forgetting all the material you were tested on. This analogy will be and can be used as we study our spouses as well, but most notably and for the sake of this article, I’m discussing what we should do as wives.

Here are some beneficial results from really getting to know our husbands well:

  • Our efforts to show them love & kindness are more likely to hit the bull’s-eye where they really feel it in ways that are meaningful for them
  • It is very likely that our marriages will improve.
  • We will become more kind & considerate in our daily lives, and in our homes, which (all on its own) is a good thing.
  • We will become more like Christ, as we learn to know and love and joyfully serve the people around us and meet them where they’re at.

So what kind of areas should we focus on?

  • Are there ways I could show respect to him that I’m not currently proactive about? (i.e., what he likes for dinner, how I dress, decisions in the home, in group conversations, etc.)
  • What makes him feel relaxed? stressed? carefree? blessed? angry? lighthearted? We are blessed to live in a time filled with options for learning more about personalities, love languages, learning styles, temperaments, and more. We could all benefit from taking time to really study what makes our individual husbands “tick”.
  • How can I encourage him? Though the world treats men as though they’re always full of bravado and oozing with self-confidence, the truth is that most men could do with some encouragement. Kind words, a supportive spirit, and actions to assist or help will go a long way towards helping your husband feel at peace and capable in life.
  • What blesses him in the area of intimacy? (What does he really like? Are there things you could wear, say, or do that would make your times together more special or enjoyable for him? Does it knock his socks off when you initiate? Is a back rub something that would make his week?) Many men derive a lot of joy and satisfaction from physical touch shared with their wives… even if it means we have to expand our “menu”, we WANT our husbands to revel and delight in US! We can all stand to grow more aware of and sensitive to our husbands in this area.
  • What ways can we enjoy relaxing together? Does he really enjoy the quiet? Perhaps there’s a hobby you can take up where you could sit quietly alongside him and just enjoy the peace and quiet at the end of a hard week. Does he like to get out together? Perhaps there’s a couple you could trade-off babysitting duties with so that time out together can be a priority.

We don’t all have the same husbands… but we do all have the opportunity to get to know the one we have. πŸ™‚ So let’s do it together. Any other ideas or comments? Challenging words? Stories about how this has happened over the course of your marriage? Come on– share your thoughts about being a wife that carefully studies your husband!


Β© 2011 The GOoD Life. Courtesy of Right The Vision. All Rights Reserved.


31 thoughts on “Study thine Husband…

  1. You hit this post out of the park sis!! I have been doing this very thing with the man in my life. As I have studied him & applied the gained material it has totally blessed us. Getting a PhD in the man you love is priceless. I always tell couples to study each other in a real way. It speaks to the very essence of someone when you love & respect them in a way that is SPECIFIC to them.

    I totally concur with your “expand your menu”, that can be post in itself. I truly believe in your tagline of “you’ll never be the same, not after reading this blog…” tagline. I pray that the anointing on this causes shift in the hearts of all who reads it.


  2. I am not a wife right now but you deff hit on some good points this has opened my eyes again to what I already knew but forgot.These things can really help you become not just a better wife but person thanks this was great!

  3. You are so right sis! My husband & I often have “power hour” and ask the other person to rate how we’re doing & what we can do or change to make the other person happier. It really works. Thanks again for an amazing post!

  4. Beautifully stated from a Beautiful Soul….GOD is Smiling on your Marriage! Thank you for sharing and encouraging…..

  5. I love marriage blogs…. We have to tell the entire world and especially the body of Christ that marriage is good!!!!!!!

  6. You hit some awesome points in this article. As my wife and I read this it made us reflect as well. This goes for men as well. Don’t stay at a high school grade level of learning your spouse. Go for the Phd. Its your spouse why not! God bless yall for creating this forum.

  7. Great post! I almost been married for a year but been with my husband for 6 years almost 7 and I am still learning new things everyday about him. This article was right on point!

  8. Love this article!
    I totally love it and agree! There definitely areas that I need to grow in as a wife…there is always room for improvement when love and commitment is there.

  9. My parents just celebrated their 39th wedding anniversary (they’ve actually been together like 45 years…) and I always ask her questions about how their marriage has worked down through the years… one of the most key things she noted was the last one you stated about relaxing together. She says that picking up a hobby that he loves (whether you love it or not) will definitely keep you guys connected and in tune with each other. She always tells the story about when he first started playing golf and he would come home from a round with that “twinkle” in his eye… she immediately knew if she didn’t start playing she would be left in the dust, LOL! NOW that they are both retired and empty-nesters, GOLF is one of the major things that keeps them happily interacting with each other…

    I think studying your husband (or future husband) is definitely key for LONGEVITY!!!


  10. This is amazing!! I honestly feel like telling God how proud I am of Him for making such a “right on the head” decision allowing this to be your purpose and passion!!!. You’re made for this sis!! I’m with Brittany, I’m ready for the book!!!

  11. Ok, so I’m ready for the book sissie! Great read yet again! Looking forward to applying soon and very soon #TeamPending lol! Thanks for sharing and allowing God to use you πŸ™‚


  12. Truly an awesome blog. Very practical & informative. What a blessing! I now know why God led me to this blog. practical preparation & renewing my mind. Thanks!

  13. Wow! This is REALLY a great article! I must say, speaking from someone who’s almost at the conclusion of 2 yrs of marriage, I’ve found the practices suggested by this article to be very beneficial to the relationship that I have w/ my husband! As you so eloquently wrote “we all don’t have the same husband,” but we can join in the journey of learning HOW to effectively love our Kings! I love learning, so whenever I can learn more about my husband its just… Simply delightful!

    I really enjoyed reading this post and please keep posting more! Your gift to inspire is definitely evident in your writing.

    Anxiously Awaiting your next blog,

    Latia B.

  14. Such insight! Thank you for sharing. This will initiate a whole new thought process when I “love on”.and show respect toward my husband-to-be.

  15. Good stuff (as always)!!! This is key to being able to appropriately meet the needs of our husbands. I love it! #TeamRib for life!

  16. Shalonda this is really great. Thanks for inviting me to read your post. You and I have both been married approximately the same amount of time but as you know from the time you say “I DO” the studying begins. A healthy marriage is a constant growth, learning, un-learning, and re-learning process. Being a wife is not the same thing as being a “boo”– There is a physical, mental, and spiritual connection between a husband and wife that no body else can touch. Thanks for challenging us to stay on our A game and really appreciate the GIFTS God has given us–

  17. I love how you focus on what we as wives should do because the only person we can ultimately be responsible for is ourselves, not our husbands. Great wisdom on being a great wife. Keep up the good work!

    Tiffany Godfrey, The Committed Wife

  18. How awesome & wonderful your entries have been so far! I am delighting in hearing your views & taking a hard look at the things I can work on to keep my bond with my husband strong. Keep going, your thoughts and insights are truly helping others!

  19. As you know, I’m not married yet, but I do thank God that I have wonderful women of God like you to look to as examples and who will also share their knowledge.

    All too often, women do not support each other, especially in our relationships. We can teach each other how to trap or leave a man, but what happens after that no one wants any parts of it. That’s a shame, especially in the body of Christ when we are supposed to be different, the called out ones, the example for the world to see.

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